50 Ridiculous Things That Every Woman Has Heard

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Ridiculous things women have heard

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Ready for a Deja-vu? Its a compilation of the most ridiculous things you might have heard because you are a woman!

 

There are myths that sound like they could possibly be true and some that we tend to brush off in good humour. But most of these come as mind-altering statements that stick. Myths in gender differences arise as a result of nurture not nature. There’s a fine line between humour and mockery and it’s imperative to stand up to the latter. 

Absolutely ridiculous things that women hear every day: 

1. Why do you need a second degree?

Women are supposedly “lucky” today because they can pursue higher studies and even get a job after. But a second degree suddenly feels like a lot of freedom given to girls according to your friendly neighbourhood Aunt. “All this studying is only going to get your wedding postponed beta, don’t waste your youth on insignificant degrees instead of colourful sarees” 

2. No one will get you married to their son if you’re seen outside with another guy

I don’t know of a single unmarried girl in India who hasn’t heard this at least once. Apparently, with no logical explanation, of course, going out with two boys is sometimes “less fishy” than going out with just one. “What will people think sweetheart?”

3. It’s okay to go out in groups only if it has girls 

This one has got to be right on top of this list. The “Logical Indian Dad” is never going to agree to send his daughter out on a trip (or even otherwise) with a group of just boys. Apparently the problem is not with the gender, the problem is with the lack of both genders that cancels your trip. If only our country’s employment policies thought the same way.

4. You have to get married before your brother

Old one, but still so prevalent. I have witnessed families who don’t mind their sons waiting until their hair is grey just so that their little sisters get married first. I’m sorry aunt Sunita, logic left the room when you walked in. 

5. Your bra strap is visible

I’m pretty sure if you’re a female and you’re reading this, you’ve been told to hide your bra strap or pull up your top because it’s too “deep” at least once. So we’re okay with men wearing boxers to supermarkets but a peep at my bra strap and you’re offended?

6. Don’t have sex before marriage, you will turn impure

The things that parents will say to their kids to prevent them from having sex is truly comical. Impure? Couldn’t they come up with better myths than this? 

7. You nag me all the time

I think it’s practically impossible to have not been addressed as a nag by the opposite gender at least once. It’s ridiculous how logic in a high-pitched voice can render a man speechless.

8. You will protect the reputation of this family

Women are often fed this from a very young age that boys build reputation and women are responsible for protecting it by staying in their  “limits”.

9You can enjoy this slim figure now, pregnancy will change everything

I could swear that most women who opt out of pregnancy do so because they’re fed with absolute rubbish like this. In reality, women are more than capable of getting back to their pre-pregnancy bodies with little effort and exercise. 

10. I’m not getting in a car with you

Whoever spread this rumour of women being bad drivers, fun fact: Men account for 73% of all worldwide road traffic deaths, three times the rate of women. (Mic drop)

11. You can’t change a tire

Umm, no Divesh, maybe I would just rather have you do it for me, ever thought of that? Women might have learnt to change tires, but it is unlikely for society to change their opinions.

12. Don’t lift too much, muscle is not for you

Muscle is important for the well-being of all humans. NO exceptions. But for some reason, women grow up fearing the weights section at a gym because all their life they’ve been told that muscle makes them look bulky. (?)

13. Don't sit like that 

Most women hear things like “Don't sit with your legs positioned apart”, “Don’t sit with one leg on the couch and the other leg on the floor” and “Sit upright”. Sitting a certain way is considered to be rude or “not female-like” behaviour as though our biological compositions were to define the way each gender must stick their posterior to the couch. 

14. You get too emotional in an argument

In the middle of a reasonable argument, it's not uncommon for women to come across these last (s)words that people save up to use at the end like “You get too emotional”, “I can't deal with your emotions” or “There are too many emotions in the room for me to think straight”. 

15. Are you PMSing? (In the middle of an argument) 

God forbid a woman showed signs of the least bid hunger, sugar cravings or stress, the general assumption is that she’s PMSing. Sure, these are natural symptoms of PMS but it is offensive to women to hear people draw these conclusions almost instantly because just anyone can be hungry or stressed, right? 

16. You can’t take a joke!

Inappropriate comments, highlighting insecurities comically and teasing - are all surprisingly let off easily in the name of a “joke”. Astonishingly, the famous “you can’t take a joke” only applies to the female gender (?) 

17. You’re living with him but not married? That’s Illegal 

As I said, the older gen has gotten excessively creative in drawing out lies around social stigmas. It’s preposterous how people will convince you that you’re defying the law and not just the lord if you so much as talk about a live-in relationship. Talking about the law it is important to keep yourself abreast about laws for women in India.

18. Divorce is not the solution

I’ve heard women say that they’re schooled about how divorce is not “ideal” even before they got married. The stigma around divorce is so large, that some will actually go to heights convincing a woman to stay in an unhealthy, stale equation rather than file for divorce. The point of fact is that divorce exists for a reason and it is perfectly normal to have not predicted the fall of a long term relationship. 

19. Keep your man happy

A lot of women hear this time and again as very sacred advice to a successful relationship/marriage. It’s awfully sad but it's true. 

20. Are you bothered because you're hungry? 

I could think of a million reasons for an individual to be bothered in a heated argument, but apparently everyone’s favourite assumption is “she must be hungry”. I could swear that there isn’t a single female who hasn’t been asked this at least once. 

21. You don’t know how to cook? That’s ridiculous 

The statement is ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with not knowing how to cook if you don’t have to. It is always good to know how to cook, it comes in handy, sure. But it’s silly of people to mandate their 13-year-old daughters to learn the art while their 2o-something-year-old sons get a free pass.

22. You drink whisky? (!) 

Even when people ask this in a surprisingly proud way, they’re still surprised. It’s as though women are fine with a glass of shiraz or a vodka cranberry, but a scotch on the rocks is like a bolt from the blue. Alcohol belongs to the one who’s paying for it, it doesn’t discriminate on the basis of gender. Grow up, uncle Mahesh!

23. Motherhood is an unmatched experience and there is no greater joy 

Motherhood is an undoubtedly wonderful experience, but not one that has to be forced upon women nor is it the sole purpose of the female gender. So give women a break because there are a million joys in the world, and motherhood just happens to be one of them. An optional one, to be precise. 

24. If you want to colour your hair, do it after marriage

One of the most absurd things young girls are told is to hold back from doing permanent damage to their bodies before marriage. I’ve come across girls whose mothers are okay with hair colouring/perming only once they’re married. It's as if all of your beauty is meant to be spent on this one single day of your life. 

25. When are you getting married? 

“It’s about time we start looking for a boy for this beautiful princess, no?” and the worst one of them all - “You’re 30 and unmarried?” - make for the silliest intrusions in a woman’s life. This family function classic has got to stop. 

26. Do you want me to hold/carry that? 

First off, there’s a difference between offering help to someone who seems like they need it and asking someone if they need help just because they’re female. Offering to carry a woman’s shopping bags is just absurd. (Although chivalry can be nice sometimes, so this one is excused) 

27. Stop being dramatic

The common stereotype that men are more laid back than women is indirectly associating the characteristic (of being overly dramatic) to being a girl. Not only is this offensive to women, but it also contributes to less expressiveness in men and is cause for trouble. It’s 2020 and a lot of us still can't stop hearing this.

28. The way to people’s hearts is through their tummies 

While this might be true, most women hear this in the most nonsensical contexts. It is advised that they please people (their in-laws in particular) by learning the art of cooking delicious food. 

29. Have children, It’ll solve all of your marriage problems

Have you heard of this “statement of wisdom”  from the elderly when you go to them with a marriage problem? I sure have. It is rather farcical to assume that 3 people can cooperate together in harmony when 2 could simply not.

30. Girls shouldn’t smoke, it’s bad for your skin

This side-splitting piece of advice can only be giggled at. Smoking is injurious to health - no genders excluded

31. Are you one of those feminist-types? 

Say one aggressive thing about women’s equality and this question being thrown at you is a guarantee. It’s like you can’t have strong opinions without being positioned under a “Type” anymore. Oh, the catastrophe!

32. You’re too pretty to be single

Snoopers are everywhere but more about your dating life. The issue doesn’t stop at that. People have the most asinine things to say sometimes. How the factors “pretty” and “single” are logically co-dependent is beyond my comprehension, to be frank. 

33. You’re too precious to be dating 

Another series of silly comments consisting of reversed opinions as the previous, but equally pesky include things like “He’s not good enough for you”, “You are better off alone” and the most comical of them all “You’re too precious to be dating”. If this comes as advice from a close friend, these might still be valuable, but coming from an outsider with no context whatsoever? That’s ludicrous. 

34. You girls only like Romcoms

Another classic stereotype. Tell people you’re a horror/sci-fi fan and they look at you like you’re alien. Some women might love rom coms, but it's silly to make such an obnoxious generalisation. 

35.You look better with no makeup

To wear or not to wear (makeup) - that is the question, isn’t it? But the problem is you don’t even get the chance to answer this yourself because someone is always very enthusiastic to answer it for you.

36. Maybe you should try wearing some makeup

-yours truly, next-door neighbour aunt. This one is particularly annoying because it’s the kind of advice you’re least bothered to receive. “Haldi helps for dark skin beta”, “Try wearing some lipstick”. 

37. Why do you only have guy friends? 

It's not unusual for women to only have friends of the opposite gender. In fact, more often than not it’s absolutely coincidental and OK. There isn’t a rule of thumb dedicated to stating the ratio of male and female friends a woman must keep, although it seems as if (many) Indian parents have their undisclosed rulebook about the same. 

38. You take forever to get dressed

This is not entirely true, we take forever to undergo a process that includes essential skin care, picking out a suitable outfit and then getting dressed. In all this time, the typical male would only try and fix their hair.

39. Do you really need therapy or just new clothes

It's silly how this one usually comes from another female. Thank you for your analysis girlfriend, but maybe I do, in fact, need professional therapy instead of stuffy closet space. 

40. You do the shopping 

It is a known fact that brides tend to have issues with their to-be partners before the wedding day because the general assumption seems to be that “women are better at shopping”. Time to discard this oldie, is it not? 

41. You’re a modern girl now

Anyone with a change in cities has to hear this from their older relatives at least once. Seemingly strange that of all things, driving oneself around and living alone makes you a “modern girl” - stuff that is usually considered to be the bare minimum for a male. 

42. Men don’t have to look good as long as they’re rich 

Another unsaid rule of thumb by which many Indian parents live by even today is that a girl must be her prettiest, most talented self but a boy is good as long as he has a great income. (Which is pressurising to both genders equally) Most traditional Indian arranged marriages act upon this age-old, imbecilic concept.

43. The more you cut your hair, the faster it grows

This is one hundred percent false. Your hair grows from the roots and hence a haircut doesn’t nearly affect its growth. A hair trim one in a while is still recommended though, because it helps get rid of dry, split ends. 

44. The earlier you get your period, the earlier you’re likely to go through menopause

Nuh-uh. In reality, the average age a woman hits menopause is around 51 years, and this has nothing to do with the age she attains puberty or the number of children she has. 

45. Try this diet

If you haven’t heard this at least once, you’re truly one of the spared lucky few. Eating healthy is a choice, but more often than not people will take responsibility for reminding you that some FAD diet could help you drop off some extra pounds. (Even when you don’t ask for it) 

46. Obesity is about willpower, not biology 

First things first: Everything in your body is about science. Even things like love and happiness are results of chemical reactions. It is inaccurate when people say that your weight is about your willpower. In reality, obesity happens to be a complex disorder with hundreds of contributing factors. 

47. You’re lucky to have landed this job/ You’re too young for a promotion

Every time someone of the female gender announces a promotion, it is inevitable that a few around would think of it as an extraordinary event. This one might not even be all that ridiculous, because stats say (according to a study conducted by TechRepublic) that women are 21% less likely to be promoted than their male coworkers in the same position.

48. It’s not mandatory to look pretty, but it sure does help

And not said with tongue in cheek. People are honestly convinced that women with an attractive exterior (conforming to societal beauty standards) have unfair advantages and can use this to climb several ladders in their lives. Farcical, isn’t it? 

49. It is odd for you to have multiple sexual partners 

The most ludicrous argument supporting this statement: “Men were meant to fertilize multiple women biologically, so they could help carry on the human species. Hence it is okay for men to have multiple sexual partners because it is what nature demanded”. But nature “demanded” this. Past tense. The continuation of species is hardly the purpose of a homo sapien today. Sex is more than a species multiplier, ask the condom manufacturing industry. 

50. You must have done something

The worst of them all - the blame game. If we could get a dollar for every time a woman was blamed for being “too nice” or “a tad bit provocative” or “leading on”, I swear we could fill that gap between male and female paychecks. 

Subtle cues about “manly” and “female-like behaviour” right from the time we’re born are so engraved inside of us, which has got to be the worst impact of these absurd statements. The next time you hear any of these questions or comments, put your foot down and toss an unforgettable answer - you’d be doing us all a solid. 


 

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